How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples


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Pre-marital counseling empowers couples to discuss marriage stressors before they cause harm to the relationship. Often, we site finances and adultery as the primary reasons for divorce when actually, poor communication and a lack of conflict resolution skills cause these problems. Follow Us. Sign in. Expert Blog. Photo: weheartit.

Celeste Sue Benskey.


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Love October 20, You know what they say about an ounce of prevention Sex is a wonderful gift from God that has been horribly perverted by our culture. Unfulfilling, shameful sex is much of what drives pop culture in America. This has resulted in many curious young people seeking answers to their questions in anywhere but the right places. Many find themselves in the depths of sexual sin or, at best, with a poor sex life after marriage.

Healthy sex is, however, one of the most wonderful, fulfilling aspects of a happy marriage. Contrary to what the culture screams, sex is not about self pleasure but instead about learning to love and please your spouse over the course of a lifetime. As one learns to love and prioritize the pleasure of his spouse in the most intimate ways, the openness and selflessness creates a bond that is strong and most definitely unique to the marriage relationship.

Each person is different, and this process of learning to love one's spouse over the course of a lifetime only strengthens that bond.

About the Author

It is this exclusive, selfless, loving sex within marriage that Dr. Leman explores in this book. He clearly and explicitly describes how to become a passionate, selfless lover. I would not recommend this book to unmarried individuals or couples. The mind is very flammable and this book is quite explicit. I would recommend this book only to married couples. My wife and I read this book together aloud, and this was helpful for two reasons.

I Tried This App to Make My Marriage (Even) Healthier — Here’s What I Learned

First, it provided accountability when dealing with explicit material. We were reading this book for each other, and we wanted to maintain pure thoughts. Second, it encouraged open, shameless conversation. We didn't have figure out how to begin an awkward conversation; the author did that for us.

We were able to talk very openly about the topic of sex, and this, in addition to being fun, created a high level of intimacy. Even though I disobeyed the author and read the whole book not just the first four chapters before I got married, I have to say that there's nothing shocking here. While this is a book that addresses sex from a "Christian" perspective that is, it stresses that sex is supposed to be saved for marriage, that God made sex, etc. Leman still bases the majority of the text on credible psychology, not the Bible, which I respected him for a LOT.


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  7. The book wasn't preachy at all and was very Even though I disobeyed the author and read the whole book not just the first four chapters before I got married, I have to say that there's nothing shocking here. The book wasn't preachy at all and was very accessible. I really liked his attitude toward the place sex should have in a relationship, which is to say that it is PART of that relationship, not a separate entity, and that whatever else is happening in the relationship does affect it.

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    He's sensitive to both women's and men's sexual needs and encourages understanding between the sexes. And although his attitude toward sex is quite progressive basically, it's ALL good, acceptable, etc. A few cases in point: 1 The assumption is that women are generally resistant to sex and do it "just" to please their husbands. I feel like a lot of women a generation older than me approached sex this way, but I don't know a ton of modern young women who do.

    I certainly don't! There wasn't a lot of exploration of all the nuances of potential sexual difficulties, just coverage of what are the basic, stereotypical sexual "dysfunctions" in men and women. Some of the stuff he said about women was on-target, but a lot of it didn't pertain to me at all see old-school references above , which DID make me question how accurate his blanket statements about men were.

    Luckily, the book also stresses uniqueness and communication, so that couples will hopefully take the time to find out which "generalizations" might apply to their partner, and which are way off. I also really liked that he addressed the issue of body image in women, with appropriate blame attributed to the unrealistic expectations of our culture.

    Why Choose Pre-Marital Counseling?

    I wish he also would have addressed pornography at greater length, as that also really plays into both male and female insecurity about sex and is so ubiquitous that there are probably few sexual relationships in which the issue hasn't been raised in one way or another.

    Perhaps his main blind spot is in assuming that all men are as good-hearted as he is. Sep 21, Alicia Willis rated it it was amazing.

    Doctor Kevin Leman is absolutely hilarious. And this book was one of the best - if not THE best - book on the topic. Sad as it is, few authors have the guts to come at this topic with appropriate openness as well as a Christian world view. I appreciated Leman's openness and his sensitivity to a wide range of readers. Whether you've made mistakes or if a conservative upbringing has made you feel scared or "dirty" for even thinking about God's beautiful 5 Stars.

    Whether you've made mistakes or if a conservative upbringing has made you feel scared or "dirty" for even thinking about God's beautiful gift of intimacy, this book is sure to target just about everyone's needs. I was personally thrilled that it was up-to-date unlike many Christian marriage books! It was not sexist, nor unrealistic. It portrayed marriage as it should be - a mutual desire to please and love each other without self-seeking attitudes.

    It was very helpful in showing how men and women think differently and how to respond to those different outlooks with mutual respect and kindness. I especially appreciated the sections for women. If you are engaged to be married, a newlywed, or even married for years, this book is a must-read. For the unmarried, I only recommend it after engagement.


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    And Leman recommends only reading part of the book before marriage. Highly recommended to engaged and marriage couples. Definite Christian and Biblical worldview. I also recommend his book "Turning Up the Heat". Apr 06, Martijn Vsho rated it it was amazing Shelves: my-shelf. A very useful book for all engaged or married couples.

    Leman is not ashamed to talk about sexual intimacy and share aspects from his own marriage, which help readers understand sexual intimacy. I read this book during my engagement and found it very helpful for getting myself prepared for marriage and sex. Now that I am married, I have come to see just how useful this book has been. Leman focuses a lot on honesty and working hard to know and understand your spouse so that you both can enjoy A very useful book for all engaged or married couples.

    Leman focuses a lot on honesty and working hard to know and understand your spouse so that you both can enjoy intimacy. I appreciated his emphasis on the fact that it is going to be different for each person and thus that what other people enjoy or he and his wife enjoy may not be something that readers will enjoy. Hence why he puts a lot of emphasis on knowing your spouse. Leman is honest and frank about everything and doesn't beat around the bush. While others may not be comfortable with that, I did not mind it in the slightest and actually found it quite helpful.

    The only thing I disagreed with was that Leman was okay with masturbation and even suggested it in certain cases. While he is definitely against masturbation to porn or lust and says it is only okay in specific circumstances, I still think it is wrong in all circumstances. Nonetheless, this is a must read for every engaged or married couple. It will help engaged couples prepare themselves for the wedding night and will help married couples improve their marriage and sex life.

    Everything You Need To Know About Premarital Counseling | HuffPost Life

    May 26, Jennifer Gentry rated it really liked it Shelves: on-my-kindle. This was a very frank, very descriptive book about the joys of sex between a husband and a wife.

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    Leman's insights into women are pretty accurate he pretty much had me pegged on several things , and it was interesting to read his insights into men as well. As soon as I finished, I suggested that my husband read it as well.

    How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples
    How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples
    How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples
    How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples
    How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples
    How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples How To Have a Successful Marriage: An Entertaining and Informative Guide for Pre-Marital Couples

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