I always go all out, but I really get motivated when I get paid. You really throw yourself into your work and yet you seem to get tired of it every now and then. But Jesus. Listen, I know you told me not to be serious, but being a lawyer is no romp in the river. People have these problems. What would you rather be than a lawyer? Drew Brees. But I hurt my knee in high school.
Like everybody else. How about being a thriller writer like you? What are you having for lunch today? His wife has done all right. Next question. But never mind, back to food. How long do you feel a Friday lunch should last? How many drinks should be consumed and what should one order? They make a good drink.
Honest people. They make everything in the world seem just about right.
But you know what? When should a lawyer bend the law and how much? Especially if a gym bag of money is involved?
Is there a finders-keepers law? Think about it. Are there any great new restaurants in New Orleans I should know about? Saltwater Grill up at Riverbend. I hate to mention this, because it might get too crowded, but you ought to make the lunch buffet next Friday at Dooky Chase.
Any idea how Raisin Partlow got his name? Or Mudbug?? Then they get to know him, but what the hell. That was a long time ago, and it stuck. He rides that totally illegal crawfish pot float with those girls hopping around, throwing crawfish into the crowds, in half the Mardi Gras parades. Or your least favorite?
Or both? I thought this was supposed to be a short interview. Rules are rules.
But I saw them get what they deserved. And my favorite client of all time may be the Praline Lady who waited every day outside of Parish Prison for her godson to come out. She paid me in pralines. Now she charges me two bucks for a pecan praline. All that stuff is privileged. Is that about it? I gotta run. Both Crooked Man and City of Beads , the first two books featuring this astute, sympathetic observer of the human condition are now available in the Amazon Kindle store, plus a brand new short story, Envision This. Always just this side of needing a lawyer himself, Tubby is willing to do anything to defend his colorful, wayward clients, including a transvestite entertainer with curious medical issues, a buxom deadbeat blonde, a doctor who refers his own patients to a malpractice lawyer, and the driver of a Mardi Gras float shaped like a giant crawfish pot.
We hope you will enjoy reading—and re-reading—these lighthearted but thoughtful mysteries, certain to be as engaging as they are mouth-watering! I want to share some of my favorite calls—the kinks, perversions, and the guys I really remember.
Beastie Boy made his rounds through the company, and he was an animal lover. No, not that kind of beastly love! I promise you Steve Marino was into something completely different. In fact, Steve, who I pictured as a very mild-mannered shoe salesman from New Jersey, was a completely different animal from any other caller I had ever had.
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He wanted me to pretend to be a buffalo. A talking buffalo. Naturally, I had some questions about this. I decided to go with the bison; I felt it gave me more material to work with, what with horns and a shaggy coat. So began my brief stint as Betty the Buffalo.follow
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Why so brief? Because Steve liked to shake things up. I was three minutes into my Betty Buffalo routine, which I was making up on the fly, when he had me switch to being a goat. Gertie the Goat, to be specific. Luckily, I had an idea of what a goat sounded like, thanks to my mom. Gertie, like my mom, had a German accent, but I think I nailed it. Steve had me switch to a horse. Henrietta the Horse.
Frankly, that irritated me. I had used my Mr. Ed type voice for the bison. Had I known a horse was going to be in the mix, I would have saved it. Then he switched it up on me. He wanted me to be a bear. He wanted me to tell him what type of bear I was, and why. I went with the Sun Bear.
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- Guide A Temporary Ghost (The Georgia Lee Maxwell Series, Series 2).
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I did a report on the Sun Bear when I was in sixth grade and it was the bear I knew the most about. I told him how sun bears were the smallest of the bear family, were nocturnal, had super long tongues and sharp claws. So I became Bella Bear. This is where it got a little weird. He created a little scenario for me. Even though Bella was from China, I gave her a southern accent. She seemed like a gal that was raised in the south to me. Things were going well with the family, who seemed to like Bella.
Why are you eating my toes? He could really make it sound like his toes were being munched. I went with it, making crunching sounds. I love grub worms. Steve always seemed to know when time was up. Right at twenty minutes he would stop, say thank you, and hang up quietly. It was always the same: Hoof, hoof, hoof — and then Bella the toe-eating bear. Get Louisiana Hotshot on Audible!
BooksBNimble, Ebook Publishing. Killer Femmes at a Killer Price June 23, by booksbnimble. Filed Under: eBooks Tagged With: bundle , mystery. March 3, by booksbnimble. First comes divorce. Then comes murder. July 16, by booksbnimble.
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